If you’re reading this right now and are going through a long distance relationship: CONGRATULATIONS. You’re doing one of the toughest things any person could possibly do – stay committed to someone whom you can’t see every day. It’s tough; trust me, I know it all too well. My fiance and I live about an hour apart, maybe 60 miles, and because of circumstances, school, work, and disability, it’s very hard to see each other. However, we get through the struggles of the aforementioned pretty well. Now, if you’re a college student and going through a LDR with your significant other, I’m DOUBLY proud of you, because being forced apart by education is also incredibly tough!
If you’re really feeling those “missing you” blues, here are a few things that my fiance and I did during our stent of LDR while in college.
First, we made is clear how often we would text each other. We talked all day every day, but, for a lot of people, it just can’t happen. Know when you’ll be able to text and keep a schedule of it. Make time to text your significant other. Make time to ask them how they are. It really does make a difference, in case you didn’t know.
Next, go out of the blue and write cute message on their social media. Let them know that you are thinking about them, even during the times when you aren’t texting. A cute good-morning message. A funny meme or video you saw on Facebook that made you think of them. It feels good to know that someone is thinking of you.
Then, consider the possibility of Skype dates, or the equivalent of what you have. When I was in college, we tried to have Skype dates as regularly as we could. It made the months that we were apart a lot more manageable.
Finally, schedule a visit. Sometimes just being in each other’s presence makes things better, even when things have been rocky. Go to them, have them come to you, or meet up in the middle. Do something to physically be there with and for each other.
Now, some of you all are saying, “But, Sarah, I just don’t have the ability to balance, but I want to. What can I do to improve my ability to balance a relationship and school?” Well, I have some thoughts:
If you all talk regularly, let them know where you’re going. If you’ve got a study session to attend, or you’re going out with friends you’ve made at your college and know you won’t be near your phone for a while, message them. Just give them a quick note letting them know that you’ll be gone for a while. Believe it or not, they will really appreciate that.
Take time away from them to study. This seems like a no-brainer, but I really struggled with this concept of taking a break from my fiance to study. Eventually I figured out that sometimes little breaks are necessary. They will understand that your education holds a lot of precedence over them. It happens.
One final note: College is about having fun, getting an education, and finding out who you are along the way. Allow that to be a way of growing with your significant other along the way. Make friends, get to know your professors, and always remember where home is.